


Full Disclosure

by MiyabiDreams



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Fluff, M/M, POC Male Shepard, Shepard has a crush, kaidan might have a little bit of a crush too, shepard also has some secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 05:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6272464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiyabiDreams/pseuds/MiyabiDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There may or may not be a mutual crush developing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Full Disclosure

After the trip to Feros, there was alcohol passed around freely in the mess. Nobody wanted to remember the horror, no matter how well the mission had turned out.

But Shepard? Shepard was in a disturbingly good mood. He always seemed to be in a good mood, as a matter of fact, and it led a lot of the crewmen to speculate as to whether he might be just a little bit off his rocker. Oh, the Commander wasn't a _bad_ man, far from it. But no matter how things seemed to go, he came back to the ship, if not smiling, at least looking like he was pleased with how things had turned out. The same was true now, even with the death of the massive alien plant being and the collective shuddering of the entire crew.

Lieutenant Alenko had long since taken note of this. Since his first mission with the Commander, he'd been curious about the man. He was a damned hero, single-handedly defending his men from waves of Batarians at Elysium, upholding the law right up until it kept good people from doing their jobs, and negotiating with the prowess of a trained diplomat. Someone had once joked that the Commander could probably sell a man his own pants while he was still wearing them, and...well, he was inclined to believe that, after watching how easily Shepard had handled the ridiculous, jumpy ExoGeni spokesman in that concrete bunker.

He was incredibly curious, and so, Alenko had a plan: he'd get a bottle of booze into the Commander and ask him a few questions. Butter the man up, so to speak. It wasn't even as if it would be that hard; Shepard liked him. Or at least, he liked talking to him. Was that the same thing? Would Shepard even go along with this? Did the man even like alcohol to begin with?

Where had he even gone?

\---

Four in the morning seemed as good a time as any to wander into the mess. Most everyone was asleep, and Shepard...well. He wasn't sleepy. He was exhausted, but of course, exhausted and sleepy were two very different things. While he was in search of something to eat, something that wasn't simply Alliance rations and nutrient paste, he could feel the eyes on his back.

"You know, if you're just going to stare, you might as well take a seat," he suggested, turning to face Kaidan and crossing his arms, brow arching up some. "Unless you've got some advice on what won't give me a stomachache out of the supplies here.

And there it was. That breathy little huff-sigh-laugh. Every time he hard it, Shepard had to distract himself. Otherwise he might have tried to get it out of Kaidan a little more often than would be strictly appropriate. He _wanted_ to, but he'd heard before about how Kaidan felt about "fraternization". How he just wasn't sure how to even go about it with women. Shepard hadn't let him see how that had dashed his hopes; after all, they could still be friends. He enjoyed the Lieutenant's company, no matter the context of their relationship.

"Sorry, Shepard. You kind of had everyone worried for a while there. You did just disappear to the captain's cabin after...well. You left in a hurry."

The smile on Shepard's face faded some, but he shrugged a shoulder, brushing it off. "I needed a shower. A long one."

"Yeah. Yeah, I get that. After what happened, anyone would." As he spoke, the lieutenant made his way to the furthest chair of the table closest to the partition, and settled down with the bottles of beer in front of him. Those got Shepard's attention, and his eyebrow twitched up a little further before he just shook his head and went to take the seat opposite Kaidan.

"Something on your mind, Lieutenant?" he asked, reclining with his arms once more crossed over his chest. The look Kaidan was giving him, it was obvious that he had things he wanted to say, to ask, but the words didn't seem to want to come out. Or they were all trying to come out at once, and getting stuck Three Stooges style, crammed shoulder to shoulder in the metaphorical doorway. So Shepard took the closest beer and uncapped it, the bottle nearly at his lips when Kaidan finally asked, "how do you do it?"

"You're gonna have to be a little more specific than that, Lieutenant."

"All of it. Eden Prime, you were knocked on your ass, but the first thing you did was check on all of us, and see what had to be done. Therum, your only concern was Dr. T'Soni, even though we spent the whole time getting shot to hell by geth. Noveria too, when you not only sympathized with the Rachni, but actually managed to get them to stand down. Besides the ones listening to the 'sour yellow note' thing, anyway. And now you've not only managed to keep the bloodshed to a minimum on Feros, you've actually managed to make the colony somewhat profitable. _How_ the hell do you do all of that, and still be so..."

Shepard's hands came up before he could finish his thought. "Kaidan, stop. I don't know what you want me to say to you here, so just take it from me: I have no idea what I'm doing. I go with my gut, make the moves that feel right. I know Liara is valuable, and she's a good kid. The rachni queen, I trust her to keep her word. She was in as much pain as any mother would be, watching her children being enslaved. As for Jeong...he was an ass. At least he could be convinced to be a useful ass." He shook his head again after that, then took a few swallows of his beer. He made a face, and Kaidan couldn't help but laugh again.

"I guess beer's not really to your taste, huh Shepard?"

"Hah, nope," he agreed, but instead of putting it aside, he took another couple of swallows. He could use it, right about now.

\--

A line of bottles was arranged along the table between each of them, and they were both pleasantly tipsy.

"Alright, my turn with questions, Shepard. Are you ready for this?"

"Shoot."

The men stared at each other from over the tops of their drinks, both pleasantly drunk, bound for hangovers come morning. But for now, they were at ease, and now Kaidan was turning on him the same treatment Shepard had given him ever since Eden Prime.

"I want you to tell me one thing about you that nobody else knows."

Shepard gave him a blank look. "Ok, how exactly is that fair? Your life is an open book, and you know my service record by now. What do you actually want to know?"

Kaidan's resolve seemed to crack briefly, but he squared his shoulders and leaned forward, his arms on the table. "Your name."

"My- what?"

"I mean it, Shepard! I want to know your name. I've never once heard it, and I can't ever remember seeing it written anywhere at all. You know mine, and everyone else's on the ship, but I don't think a single one of us knows what to call you, besides some combination of Commander and Shepard. So, really. Unless your first name actually is Commander, in which case, your parents must have been interesting people."

The blank look persisted, but the smile came back by degrees. That was really what was on Kaidan's mind?

"Can you keep a secret?"

Now Kaidan looked concerned. "Yes, sir."

"I've got two."

"Two?"

"Two."

Kaidan's brows knitted, making him look a good deal more worried about what he was potentially about to be told. He leaned forward though, eager to learn what the hell that even meant.

"You...might have to elaborate on that one for me, sir."

Shepard's smile persisted. It was maddening, and Kaidan might have said so, if Shepard hadn't started speaking again: "I'm only telling you because I know I can trust you. Hell, I trust you with my life, so there's no reason that I can't tell you this too.

"My name in the Alliance is John." He stopped, and Kaidan's expression only drew in further. "I'll explain what that means, if you'll stop looking at me like that. ...good. Ok, you know I grew up on Earth. You saw some of the people I used to run with. The guy from the Reds. We were a lousy crowd, and I wanted out after a while. And I wanted to keep my ties with them severed. So, with official Allliance regs backing me, I built a new life for myself, up to and including a new name. But when I was a kid, my name was Guillermo."

"...Guillermo?" Shepard didn't look like a Guillermo to him. Hell, he didn't look like a John either. Maybe it was the alcohol doing it, but he was honestly thrown for a bit of a loop.

"Hey, you pronounced it right on the first try," Shepard said cheerfully, a hand coming up to gesture vaguely at Kaidan. "I had a buddy, he couldn't get his tongue around it, so he called me Gam. It was dumb, but it stuck with some of the guys."

"Gam."

"Would you stop looking at me like that? I answered your question."

"Sorry, Shepard, but... _Gam?_ " He half expected Shepard to threaten to space him for this, but that peaceful little smile was right back on the Commander's face, and he looked like he immediately regretted saying anything. So much so that he was actually getting up to go. "Wait! ...wait. Please, stay. Maybe you could tell me more about this buddy of yours. Or where you were from. Originally, I mean."

When Shepard settled back down, he seemed to be thinking, sleepy expression and fingers tapping some on the opposite bicep.

"I guess you all wouldn't have heard, huh. Reports tend to keep it a vague 'city on Earth' when they talk about where I came from. It was Haiti. A massive slum that they've been in the process of trying to clean up since the twentieth century, called Soleil. Ran with that gang I mentioned, though when I was a kid we were called _Dizyèm Rouges_."

The accent threw him. What _was_ that? "You're ah... You'll have to run that by me again."

Shepard shook his head. "It literally means 'Tenth Street Reds'. The language is kreyole. It's- it was my family's first language. Long enough away from it though, under military guidance, I had to get it under control. You can't exactly swear in bastardized french at your CO if you want to avoid chore detail for the rest of your tour." He chuckled quietly, rubbing a broad hand across his jaw. "If you could've heard me back then, your head would probably explode."

"It was- Oh right, your file said you were orphaned. What happened?"

The way Shepard's expression fell, Kaidan was ready to retract the question, distract him with other topics, but still, the Commander spoke up.

" _Papa_ \- my father, he was retired military. He re-enlisted when we got out of the Sol system, ended up on one of the frigates that took on the Turians during first contact. I was left at home with my older brother. Our mother passed when I was still a toddler. There was an...accident while Papa was deployed. I ended up with biotic abilities, and my brother nearly died. I enlisted as soon as I was able to, just to try and get back some control of my life, but...well. I still talk to Carlos. That's the only family I have left."

Kaidan listened quietly as Shepard talked, occasionally making a sound of understanding. He'd known Shepard must have gone through a lot to get to where he was, but this was more than he'd ever expected. The Commander's fortitude was remarkable. He reached across the table hesitantly, then rested his hand on Shepard's wrist, giving it a squeeze, a show of camaraderie that brought the easy smile back to Shepard's face.

"I'm glad, Shepard. If anyone deserves to still have their loved ones within reach, it's you. "

Shepard's hand withdrew after a moment, and he pulled up his omnitool, using a program on it to project a small hologram of a photo. It was a tiny family, a massive man with dreadlocks hanging over his shoulders, holding two boys in his arms, one sitting in the crook of his elbow with fingers in his mouth, the other tucked against the father's side with a soft smirk on his face. The latter boy was beautiful, with slender features surrounded by a cloud of unruly hair, and Shepard looked at him a moment, before blowing up the image a bit for Kaidan to see.

"I think I was about five years old there. It's the last time we were all able to be together long enough for anyone to get a photo. It all went to hell after that, but it's good to have something to hold onto, you know?"

"Yeah." Kaidan's smile mirrored Shepard's own at that point, without him realizing that he was even smiling to begin with. He caught himself and cleared his throat, then started to scoot his chair back a bit. "Well. Anyway, we should try to get some sleep. I know you wanted to hit the Citadel, and all that harsh light won't be good for the headache we're both bound to have."

"Right," Shepard murmured, standing in kind and steadying himself on the partition beside him. Then he looked up at Kaidan before he could get too far away, and moved around it to catch the Lieutenant on the other side. He reached a hand out to catch Kaidan's shoulder, but it ended up being unnecessary as the other man turned back to him, giving him a curious look, then letting out a soft, breathy little laugh that caught when Shepard's hand lit at the side of his neck instead. His smile faded off when Shepard made to close the gap between them, and while his lips weren't exactly responsive when the Commander's pressed against them, quick and feather-light, he didn't pull away.

It was only by the grace of alcohol that neither of them turned red over that.

"I'll...need some time to process that," Kaidan murmured, turning to head back to his station. Shepard just let him go, glancing back just once before heading to the elevator. He would need some time to process it, himself.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't often play the male Shepard. His voice acting is atrocious compared to femShep's. But I once decided I would attempt to make as handsome a Shepard as I could manage, and a POC one to boot bc really who needs all these generic grizzled and questionably attractive white men?
> 
>  
> 
> [Well, I think he's handsome at least.](https://i.gyazo.com/764aab4e809ec5a4a1ba03414cd16f6d.png)
> 
>  
> 
> [I just really like this shot too.](https://i.gyazo.com/94b80290faee299d38d606000d09cc33.png)


End file.
